20150128 영성훈련

[견고한 기쁨] How to Repent

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)

A vague, bad feeling that you are a crummy person is not the same as conviction for sin. Feeling rotten is not the same as repentance.

This morning I began to pray, and felt unworthy to be talking to the Creator of the universe. It was a vague sense of unworthiness. So I told him so. Now what?

Nothing changed until I began to get specific about my sins. Crummy feelings can be useful if they lead to conviction for sins. Vague feelings of being a bad person are not very helpful.

The fog of unworthiness needs to take shape into clear dark pillars of disobedience. Then you can point to them and repent and ask for forgiveness and take aim to blow them up.

So I began to call to mind the commands I frequently break. These are the ones that came to mind.

Love God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength. Not 95%, but 100%. (Matthew 22:37)
Love your neighbor as you love yourself. Be as eager for things to go well for him as you are for things to go well for you. (Matthew 22:39)
Do all things without grumbling. No grumbling—inside or outside. (Philippians 2:14)
Cast all your anxieties on him—so you are not being weighed down by it anymore. (1 Peter 5:7)
Only say things that give grace to others—especially those closest to you. (Ephesians 4:29)
Redeem the time. Don’t fritter or dawdle. (Ephesians 5:16)
So much for any pretensions to great holiness! I’m undone.

But now it is specific. I look it in the eye. I’m not whining about feeling crummy. I’m apologizing to Christ for not keeping all that he commanded.

I’m broken and I’m angry at my sin. I want to kill it, not me. I’m not suicidal. I’m a sin hater and a sin murderer. (“Put to death what is earthly in you,” Colossians 3:5; “Put to death the deeds of the body,” Romans 8:13.)

In this conflict, I hear the promise, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). Peace rises.

Prayer feels possible and right and powerful again.

FROM “How I Approach God When Feeling Rotten”


[예배] 새로남교회, 청년2부 우승필목사님

'날 기억하소서'

욥기 23장 [개역개정]
1 욥이 대답하여 이르되
2 오늘도 내게 반항하는 마음과 근심이 있나니 내가 받는 재앙이 탄식보다 무거움이라
3 내가 어찌하면 하나님을 발견하고 그의 처소에 나아가랴
4 어찌하면 그 앞에서 내가 호소하며 변론할 말을 내 입에 채우고
5 내게 대답하시는 말씀을 내가 알며 내게 이르시는 것을 내가 깨달으랴
6 그가 큰 권능을 가지시고 나와 더불어 다투시겠느냐 아니로다 도리어 내 말을 들으시리라
7 거기서는 정직한 자가 그와 변론할 수 있은즉 내가 심판자에게서 영원히 벗어나리라
8 그런데 내가 앞으로 가도 그가 아니 계시고 뒤로 가도 보이지 아니하며
9 그가 왼쪽에서 일하시나 내가 만날 수 없고 그가 오른쪽으로 돌이키시나 뵈올 수 없구나
10 ○그러나 내가 가는 길을 그가 아시나니 그가 나를 단련하신 후에는 내가 순금 같이 되어 나오리라